satisfaction

I was reading a post by a blogger when i realized that her choices of song at her mixpod itu selalu menepati my citarasa.  Maybe sebab kitorang ni sebaya kot.  Kanak2 seperti me_cnor, cikSecretary dan pnAcc memang confirm takkan enjoy lagu2 tu.  PK pun mesti tak minat punya, maklum la, dia kan lebih berumur...hahaha.  Anyway, sambil berjiwang2 tumpang dengar lagu orang ni, baik la i hapdate sikit.


I'm in a midst of finishing a project which started almost a year ago.  My input bukannya besar mana pun, tak penting pun.  It's a book, an atlas.  I'm supposed to put together everything in place, with my own creativity yang tak seberapa ni.  I love doing it, walaupun sebenarnya idak le canggih mana output dia tapi since i did it from scratch, so when i look at the test print sample, rasa syok gila, rasa macam nak sengih dari telinga ke telinga.  When i flipped the pages, baru i sedar yang i tersalah bagi file kat apek tu, it wasn't the latest updated version.  But it didn't spoiled my excitement, tak sabar rasa nak tayang kat opis.


Kenapa yang i beria sangat?  Kalau nak diikutkan, bukannya ada tulis nama i pun dalam buku tu.  Bukannya dapat apa pun.  Takde sapa pun tau what's my contribution.  No one knows why i chose this photo instead of that, no one knows that some maps and most of the diagrams are drawn, bukannya simply cut & paste dari mana2.  So, after all the hardwork, di saat2 last ni i memang agak degil sikit especially when the comments i received adalah melibatkan benda2 cosmetic je.  I was very open during the whole process, i was hoping to get some constructive comments from the beginning, kalau sekarang baru nak gitu gini benda2 remeh sori la i nak layan, lain la bab2 technical kan.  Anyway, i've learned something valuable.  Satisfaction.


Setiap orang ada cara masing2 untuk rasa puas hati.  Ada orang senang nak satisfy dengan apa yang dia buat, ada orang cukup cerewet.  Ada orang, pakai baju kelawar dengan selipar dah boleh jalan sampai Tesko.  Ada orang, kena pakai gaun kembang lipstik merah mata biru mascara bagai dengan kasut tumit baru boleh keluar rumah.  I think i'm in between both.  Not easy to be satisfied, but not expecting too much perfection.  Everything needs to be aligned - yes, but if  left aligned looks better, then it doesn't have to be justified.  Kalau pakai sandal lebih selesa, kenapa perlu paksa diri terkedek2 pakai heels walaupun kekadang teringin jugak nak berangan tinggi cam model kan?  Kadang2 imperfection  lah yang menyebabkan satu2 benda tu unik, menarik and ada nilai seni & kreativiti...cewahhh!  PK, i know u have something to mengumpat about this!


The truth is, i think when you do things yang melibatkan imagination and creativity,  it is best that you do it on your own without constant interference from anything or anyone.  Contohnya, kalau kena buat hantaran, you wouldn't want someone else to buy the flowers etc; sebab, nanti orang tu beli bunga kaler purple, manik kaler gold, padahal what you've already drafted in your mind is a yellowish theme.  Tak ke lari tema tu?  If it's not your wedding, maka boleh la tahan lagi kan; if it's yours?  


When involving others (especially yang berumur), it is hard to express your own idea, especially if it's not the norms.  You may think that right aligned paragraph might bring fresh look to your idea, tapi jangan harap la senang2 orang nak terima.  You may want to put huge, gigantic flowers yang saiz setiap kuntum lebih besar dari kepala sendiri as decoration on your table; what do you think makcik2 akan kata?   Tak sesuai la, tak cantik la, tak pernah orang buat la... Yes, it might look weird, memang takde orang buat, mungkin jugak tak sesuai; but, why not give it a try?  Give the freedom.  Kalau cantik, kita pun boleh buat jugak; kalau nampak hodoh, at least semua orang dah puas hati, kan? 


We are all restricted by the 'norms'.  Apa yang lain dari kebiasaan tu tak semestinya tak elok.  Let loose of yourself.  Some people are also bound by perfection; but I think too much perfection kills our creativity.  In the end, what we really hope is true satisfaction.  Apa ada pada nama; there's something deep inside of you, the thoughts of it would bring smile to your face... that, is satisfaction.