Wednesday, February 24

saje-saje nak tulis...

Mondays are always gloomy, semua orang takde mood, malas, boring... I quickly started my engine after rushing my way down the stairs; dengan sampah sebelah tangan, beg kerja...nasib baik tak sampai ke tahap kena pakai tudung dalam kereta (macam sorang pompuan we saw the other day...haha).  Nowadays PK yang akan datang ambik i, but since dia tak sihat (and later she went back to her hometown sebab her grandmother passed away), so i kena pi kerja sendiri.  As i rushed to tong sampah besar with the sisa2 kumbahan (haha..), something loud attracted me.  Bunyi tu sangat kuat, and it sounded macam my FCs tengah bergaduh sakan kat atas nun.  I hesitated, i'm late...sepatutnya i'm at least at a third of the journey to opis, dah la i decided to take train je, so sepatutnya lagi awal.  Should i run my way up again or just ignore the sounds which was actually becoming louder and louder.  Finally, i ran to the car, stopped my engine, pull the keys out and lari sekuat hati naik atas balik.  Bukak je pintu, dengan termengah2 berpeluh2, i terus masuk and scolded everyone.  I realized that they were all looking at me macam pompuan gila kena rasuk.  I tried to looked for evidence that there were battle just minutes ago, but nothing...takde pun bulu2 sepah2, takde pun nampak macam sapa2 tengah marah....ish...then i realized that the sounds i heard was not from my house; probably abang2 itam kat bawah tu yang gaduh.  Penat tuuu...


But; that was yesterday.  Today, after forcing myself out of the bed on the first alarm that rang (i kunci jam 3-4 kali...tak termasuk yang i snooze berkali2...), so i managed to sampai awal to opis.  Ye la, i had to cover balik jugak yang i selalu lambat tu kannn, nanti ada plak orang tak puas hati i selalu balik awal dari dia...ishhhh.  Macam semalam jugak, i travelled by train, cuma hari ni dalam keadaan yang tenang, idak berpeluh berlari macam semalam.  I tried to focus on the book i'm reading, pandang atas pun ikut ekor mata je just to check if there's any pregnant lady ke apa...tak nak la jadi macam orang tu kannn, tersalah offer kat pompuan tak pregnant...hehe.


So, there goes my two days without gossiping with PK...i'm sure there's a lot to talk and gossip about, especially after the weekend kannnn... Whatever pun, i nyaris2 membebel2 dalam hati semalam sebab suddenly i had itchy eyes, mata dah start nak merah2...ishhh...petanda tak baik ni.  Bukan apa, setakat i sorang yang sakit takpe; budak2 tu kalau terjangkit skali...haiiii...can't imagine... Nasib baik hari ni ok je.  Perasan yang bukan2 kot kannn....hehe

...loss

I've known PK since first year at uni.  Since then, i've had countless trips back to her hometown at east coast; it went on from bus dinding kayu, until we started working and our traveling bertukar kepada kereta.  Our trips became more frequent when we were working at east coast.  My visits also includes to her pakcik/makcik's place and also to her grandparents' place.


PK's grandparents lives very near to town.  You have to pass through huge garden to reach the house.  I've always admire that house; especially the big verandah where you can lepak on your way up to the front door.  It's an old house but i reckon it must've been something great at the time when it was built.


Pada zaman mudanya, PK's atuk had worked as a ...errr...can't remember...but he had a stable career for a person at that time.  Dia sememangnya macam McGyver.  He had everything underneath his house.  Segala macam enjin, wire, besi2 segala.  PK told me that he even had his own lawn mower; dia buat sendiri ok... Toksah kata la, setakat mesin kopi tu agaknya kacang je dia buat.  No wonder kalau kita masuk rumah tu, although it's an old house tapi kelengkapan adalah lebih elektronik and maju dari rumah kita ni.  Selain bergelumang dengan besi2 & wire; his other passion adalah menjala.  Walaupun dah tua, dia tetap suka menjala; PK and me pernah ikut dia menjala kat pantai belakang airport.  Walaupun tak dapat apa, but i'm sure he had enjoyed the moment.


PK's nenek; as i remember her adalah sorang yang selalu berkemban and semestinya lawa zaman2 mudanya.  Since they both tinggal berdua je kat rumah tu, makanya dia la yang memasak hari2 dalam keadaan dia sendiri pun tak berapa larat; lagipun her atuk never liked anyone else cooking except his wife's and PK's mom.  They were both very loving couple.


PK's atuk had passed away about two years ago; and yesterday, PK's nenek had also left us.  Although i never had long conversation with them but they were both like my own grandparents.  They will be greatly missed by their anak cucu and anyone who knows them.  Al-Fatihah.

Thursday, February 18

liberte d'expression

I'm writing this in a mix kind of feeling.  Nak kata marah, tak jugak...suka, tak jugak... I just need to express whatever things that's been bothering me.


Semakin lama kerja (dalam erti kata lain....makin tua) i tend to appreciate more of my own time.  Tak kira la i spend it dengan siapa or just melepak sesorang kat rumah.  My time is my own private thing yang i prefer if no one question as to how i spend it. 


I'm the type yang akan berlari keluar dari opis secepat yang boleh.  I don't linger in the office more than i think i should.  I'll definitely stay if i have to tapi kalau kerja tu macam suam2 kuku je...meaning it can wait; and takde orang yang akan mati tercekik or berasap kepala kalau i tak siapkan waktu tu jugak...so i won't stay.  I bukan la berkira tentang opis hour ni...kalau berkira of course le i akan datang awal kannn...hehe; but i don't find it necessary to stay kalau takde kerja, kalau nak chatting/email/berkebun etc, i can always do it at home; and i definitely don't mind kalau orang lain nak buat...masing2 punya suka.  My era of staying back, doing things in the office semua dah berlalu.  I'd rather habiskan my time meredah jam and try to be at home secepat yang mungkin where i can find my peace of mind.  I might not even rest straight away; but whatever i do after work is not to be questioned by anyone yang i tak consider interested but instead asked to criticized.


Cnor told me that Bini telah bising2 sebab we all (me, Cnor & mc#2) balik awal last Friday.  I admit that we went out about 7 minutes early last friday.  It was CNY mood kannnn....and lagipun we WERE supposed to go back early, cuma si Golumn pendek tu kept the permission to himself.  So, kami2 yang tau ni terpaksa la buat2 tak tau & memendam rasa nak balik awal walaupun jiran2 company adik beradik lain semua dah tutup kedai.  I la yang dibebelnya kan, datang lambat dari dia tapi hari2 balik awal.  I malas la nak pok-pek kannn....kenapa tak sound mc#2 tu.  Dia pun selalu balik awal...laaaaagiii awal. 


I don't know why; selalunya i never bother apa orang nak cakap/buat.  Humans right; do/say anything as you wish...i'll never bother, jangan membabitkan i sudah.  But i think there's something not right and sincere about Bini.  I thought zaman orang nak dengki2 ni semua dah takde; but i'm wrong.  I never trust anything that came from her mouth.  She might be nice and sweet to you but i doubt the sincerity.  If any other person on earth says something sweet, i might take that as compliments; but any puji2an from her i took it as something that i should think about; she might mean the other way round.  Maybe i'm being too paranoid here but for me, friendship is something that's based on trust and sincerity no matter how close atau tidaknya kita.  Kalau sekali i have doubt, it's gonna be a really hard work to gain it back from me.


Being in my place now, at this age, with whatever little things and companions i have surround me dah cukup to make me a happy person.  I'm grateful for everything i have, i'm blessed; and i hope nothing will change the way i feel.  I don't wanna be orang yang besar kepala, yang tak reti2 nak bersyukur dengan apa yang ada.  I hope to have only positive thoughts towards other people.  Walaupun mulut tak berenti2 membebel kat PK, but it's my way of letting out and releasing myself and idak le i nak simpan dalam hati or berdendam bagai kannn.  Lagipun i tau, kalau i tak membebel kat PK, hidup dia akan gundah gulana; she'll miss my ramblings...hehe.

Monday, February 15

mind and body...the conflict

Tajuk gila gempak kan...hahahha!  Sesungguhnya i believe that there's a conflict between my mind and body. 


I'm getting old.  That's a fact.  Badan dah tua, banyak bahagian yang kalau sakit macam lambat je nak baik.  I sprained my ankle few months back, sampai sekarang tak berapa baik.  I tend to forget many things nowadays.  I forgot to pay my bills.  I forgot to pay my IWK bills sampai datang surat yang nak suruh i masuk court kalau tak bayar...nasib baik encik D tolong gi bayar; kalau tak terpaksa i angkat sumpah 'i do' kat court.  A few months back i dapat surat merah gak sebab terlupa bayar bil elektrik...nasib baik cikguMat tolong pegi bayar.  And, guess what...i dengan tak sengajanya, baru tersedar yang i terlupa nak renew my driving licence.  I bukan la terlupa seminggu dua or sebulan dua, malahan telah dua tahun lebih lesen i mati you....  ish..ishh... Bos i kalau tau seharusnya membebel sebab i dah bawak kete serata east coast membawak clients; cikSecretary kalau tau mesti geleng kepala sebab i drove her sepanjang fieldwork dulu macam paparazzi mengejar artis.  That's why i always insist that PK yang kena bawak kete...instinct ni...haha.  You know that panic kind of feeling bila sedar you buat salah kan...disebabkan takde kesempatan nak renew maka i telah memandu without licence for the next two days.  I was honked many times on my way to the 'U' to do some research; semuanya sebab terlalu berhati2, lagi la panik bila orang hon kan...rasa macam orang baru belajar bawak kereta, padahal selama dua tahun lebih tu bawak selamba je...


Dalam pada sindrom2 orang berumur tu datang, I guess my mind must have misinterpreted that i'm still young and might need more teeth; hence the pain occured again last week...my wisdom tooth.  Rasanya dah bertahun2 gigi ni nak keluar but this time the pain lingers agak lama.  I only had porridge for the first few days, now i barely bite my foods...semua main telan je.  Hari ni je i dah makan aiskrim berkali2 & berjenis2 sebab nak cover sikit rasa sakit tu (...alasan).  No wonder i ni tak 'wise' kan, wisdom tooth tak tumbuh...ada kaitan tak?  So, sementara tu, i had to postpone acara makan2 yang keterlaluan.  Projek makanan sunda bersama PK and encik D terpaksa tangguh dulu.  Jauh sekali la nak makan jagung ke jambu batu ke kannn.  I wonder...is this the reason why i'm still in this status...my mind masih ingat i ni kekanak lagi ke? ...muahahahahahhaa.....

Wednesday, February 3

the 'free' green bag

My three days cuti was almost fully utilised.  I thought i'd spend the time watching House marathon but the truth is; i didn't even watch a single episode.  I woke up early on Saturday to send Encik D to airport, went back and i thought i'd just take a nap, but instead i telah terbongkang agak lama.  It wasn't a good start for the day because what i did for the whole day was tido, bangun kejap, tido lagi, dan lagi, dan lagi...until around four where i couldn't take it anymore, so i decided to go to rumah CikguMat.


So, the next day, to avoid the same situation; i telah keluar awal pagi to the nearest supermarket.  After buying itu ini, i pun dengan lenggang lenggoknya telah jalan keluar and was approached by a nyonya promoter yang idak le menawan sangat but luckily dia tak busuk walaupun tak wangi.  Since i had no specific agenda for the day, so i thought why not i layan je nyonya promoter tu kan... Dia telah mengumpan i dengan a green recycle bag which she said i deserve to get sebab dah berbelanja more than a certain amount.  Lagipun berkali-kali nyonya tu menegaskan yang saturday is a no-plastic day, so memang patut sangat le kalau i dapat beg ijau dia tu.  I idak le nak sangat beg tu sebab dah ada banyak pun tapi disebabkan mood tengah baik, layan je la kannn...


Nyonya promoter tu started with a short survey which i answered dengan lajunya sebab eager nak tau what will happen next.  She tried to jek apa2 yang patut dengan muka senyum2 sambil jari tak habis menyucuk-nyucuk tangan i, cam kepoh sungguh.  She told me that she had to promote her products but i need not buy them there and then even if i'm interested sebab next month baru dia jual.  So, i pun tadah je telinga sambil dalam hati rasa nak tepis je tangan nyonya promoter yang tak habis2 menyucuk i tu.  In the end, cam biasa i had to koyakkan kertas yang konon2nya misteri tu to know what's the offer like for me.  Nyonya promoter warned me that if it's written 'tq' maka i tak boleh le terguling2 meraung kat situ cam minah pagi tadi...i thought i was early, ada lagi ke orang yang lagi awal?...ishh...tipu sungguh; besides, ada ke orang nak bergolek2 kat situ just because dia tak dapat hadiah?  Anyway, guess what?  Nyonya promoter tu telah terkejut badak sebab never ever anyone got a really great deal like me; she had to approach another encik promoter sebab she had no idea what to do...hahahaha. Cehhh...as if la i percaya lakonan u nyonya.  You are not a little bit of a good actress.  I telah buat muka yang sungguh seposen.  Seronok gak melayan orang2 ni.  Encik promoter, nyonya promoter and another cik kak promoter telah bersungguh2 menghasut i beli anything with a $50 voucher sebab only then that i'm entitled to get another two products for free.  Harga satu2 benda plak not less than 2K you...  and the two products yang i 'sepatut'nya dapat tu plak harga around 6K plus.  Setelah di pot-pet sekian lama...i terus cakap dengan muka seposen yang i'm not interested in the products sebab i don't cook at home.  Encik promoter telah tanya "dah tu hari2 makan kat mana?"  I telah jawab dengan sungguh confident "hari2 makan luar".  That answer left them speechless...muka nyonya promoter yang tadinya bercahaya kemain terus jadi masam cam  muka A-mush (kucing kat rumah yang memang tak pernah senyum).  Masing2 terus diam, so i asked if there's anything i need to sign ke apa lagi...they said no tapi tak offer plak beg ijau yang dijanji2kan tadi tu.  I dengan muka tak malunya terus tanya nyonya promoter tu "the bag is mine kan?"....hehehe.  Makin masam muka nyonya tu...

Tuesday, February 2

Alexander

I started writing this last week tapi disebabkan gangguan disana sini, internet connection kat rumah yang kejap laju kejap selow, PK plak balik kampung, so segala urusan domestiknya telah diserahkan tanpa segan silu i.e bagi makan Alex, bg makan Jojo, Makcik Diva & the gang, pegi rumah CikguMat, tido, macam2 la...hehehee...alasan kan?  Anyway, i wrote something about Alex the cat.  I saw Alex the dog the other day but since i dah lama tak jumpa dia, so dia telah buat donno, either she wasn't hungry or dia dah tak kenal...couldn't be kan?  I thought daya ingatan diaorang ni superb and furthermore, idak le lama sesangat i tak jumpa dia.  Anyway, i'll write about her some other time, together with the other canines.



Alex always has her way of stealing my attention.  She climbs slowly onto my lap whenever i'm using the laptop.  She'll adjust herself to find the most comfortable position.  She doesn't need me to talk to her though she'll definitely answer whenever i calls her name.  All she need is just a few stroke, and she'll just doze off.


She was named after 'Alexander the Great'; it is a coincidence (or somehow the name affected her?) that her behavior matches the grandeur of the warrior.  Alex always has her way to be on top.  She used to climbed on the curtains and of course tore them bit by bit until the whole thing ripped apart.  She is always at the highest place; above all the others.  She watches everything from top, as a king would ... Alex has the ability to jump from a wall to another and to the glass sliding door; she banged herself so loud that i always thought that one day the whole thing will be shattered. 


A great individual is usually unique in many ways.  Alex will always do things the harder way.  As PK mentioned, Alex has her own way of drinking water.  She drinks from running tap or from big pail with her four legs wide open.  Once, she fell into the pail but she quickly jumped out of the water instantly.  That's when i realised that i should always fill the pail up to the fullest so that she doesn't have to lower down her head too low that she'll loose her balance.  Her way of drinking water is now followed by a few other FCs.  Alex used to be fond of water.  She would run to the sink whenever she hears the tap running.  She could spend time hours (exaggerate sikit...hehe) watching and playing with water.  No matter how much Alex loves water she doesn't like to be bathed.  She'd scream her lungs out whenever we tried to get her cleaned.  She'd just let her wet fur dry by itself even if it'll take hours to get dried since she'll never ever lick herself.


As she grows up, Alex still plays with water though not as often as when she was small.  I saw her with Chut (another water freak) near the washing machine this afternoon, waiting for the water to be drained down.  She doesn't climb on my curtains anymore though she still loves higher spots.  She maintains her slender body; she has nice shiny coat and perfect straight, long tail.  She choose only to hang around her sister, Cik Oli; her mom, Tam-Tam and Poi; maybe because those are the familiar faces since she was born.  She conquers a spot on the shelf where only Cik Oli and her can sit or sleep; exception is only for Junior, others will definitely be chased off.


Every cat is unique; they have their own personality.  Alex is definitely different from the others.  In fact she is unique in so many ways.  She made me mad the first time i saw the torn curtain, she made me go crazy when she was jumping around the walls but above all; she colours my life & anyway, the torn curtain is a good excuse to change to new ones...kan?