AJ

Life is full of colors.  Just when u think the color suits you, then came a paint splash out of nowhere.  Then only u realise that whatever color u have before seems different.   The splash could enhance the original color and make it interesting.  It could also make it seems dull or ruin the whole thing.


It's been a week since AJ passed away last Wednesday - 20th March 2013.  It was unexpected as she was not very sick, just a little bit inactive.  It was never easy for me to accept the fact that they had leave me.  It felt like a sharp, strong stab to the heart.  Yes, my distress-curve should've been on the lower side since this is not the first time; but no, it's not.  It is still the same.  And i wonder myself if it will ever change.


I kept wondering if whatever i have given to them so far is enough.  If whatever love i had for them is felt.  I wonder if they know how much i love them.  I wonder if they knew that even if i'm not their original owner, i do treat them as mine.  There are so many things that i hope they would understand.  I hope they would understand that i could never trade them for anything.  That i would never hesitate to let go of anything if a choice had to be made.  I wish there's a way for me to know the answers.  For them to let me know that i've done the right thing and that it's okay for me to let them go when the time comes.  I wish...


For AJ : I hope you've had a good life.  I hope i've given enough of everything.  Do pray for me.  Loves.